Lightens in the Sun - Changbi Youth Poetry Series 46

Author Jung Da-yeon · Publisher Changbi Education · Publication Date 2024-01-12 · ISBN 9791165702397

About the Book

"I exist, firmly" A gaze that looks deeper and deeper into the youth

The poetry collection clearly shows the poet's sincere desire to get one step closer to deeply understand adolescents who rarely reveal their inner thoughts. The poet describes the hearts of adolescents as "stories that can only be heard if you listen carefully" (from "The Speaker"), and listens attentively to their stories. The poet also carefully considers the feelings of adolescents who repeatedly ask, "Can you really listen to me?" (from "Closed Door") because they don't want to be hurt, and delicately points out the various emotions they feel in their daily lives.

I am a person of few words, but
I know how to tell stories

My diary contains
the story of someone who didn't want to leave the house
but turned the doorknob because they wanted to show the world to their beloved dog,
the story of their heart opening up.

It's written there.
I am a person who knows how to convey stories without speaking.
(omitted)
I am a person who holds stories that
can only be heard if you listen carefully.
Because my voice isn't loud,
because I don't assert myself,
there are many times when I'm not heard,

but that doesn't mean I don't exist.
I exist, firmly.
- Partial excerpt from "The Speaker" (pages 84-85)

"Because I think I understand that feeling" A poetry collection that offers solace to adolescents facing anxiety

Adolescents, with their sensitive emotions, are prone to being swept away by unknown feelings and suddenly overwhelmed by anxious thoughts. The "darkness within me" containing "the fact that there is someone I hate so much" is terrifying, and "the thought of my face appearing at the end of that hateful person's face" (from "The Most Difficult and Frightening Things in the World") is frightening. They suddenly "imagine becoming smaller than dust so no one recognizes me" and are consumed by "the thought of wanting to disappear completely" (from "Closed Door") as a "transparent ghost." They even feel as if "it would be fine if the world collapsed as it is" and fall into a "sad sense of emptiness" (from "Another Person"). Yet, they also know how to comfort their own restless hearts by "lulling themselves to sleep without realizing it" (from "Lullaby"). To such adolescents, the poet speaks by subtly offering companionship, saying, "I actually experienced the same thing as you" (from "Secret"), resonating with the anxious psychology hidden within them.

When anxiety approaches without a sound

I feel at peace when I think I just happened to meet a kitten while walking down the street.

I tried to soothe it, but even if it scratches fiercely with its claws, even if I get wounds like broken diagonal lines,

The approaching hand must have been very scary for you. Is this your first time with me too? Don't come too close, let's just stay together like this. I end up stepping back.

When I see its receding back, I find myself wishing it well.
- Partial excerpt from "Dear My Anxiety" (pages 74-75)

"Protecting myself without breaking myself" A careful appeal to those enduring pain

The school, where adolescents spend most of their day, should be safe and peaceful above all else. However, the reality is not so. Physical violence, as well as verbal abuse that uses "trashy words" (from "Summer Vacation") and ostracism, still occur routinely. A child who hears "I'm breaking up with you now" (from "Toilet") even from their best friend falls into self-loathing, seeing their reflection in the bathroom mirror and thinking, "The one I most wanted to break up with / was myself" (from "Toilet"). But because "one person is by my side" (from "Fact and Truth") who understands their true feelings, they are not so lonely. They endure steadfastly, vowing, "I will never crumble" (from "Recess") by pretending not to hear "even when wadded-up paper flies at my back, even when the classmates loudly talk about me for everyone to hear." The poet thoughtfully considers what feelings adolescents experiencing painful times for various reasons might be enduring and encourages them.

To me, in pain,
Yoon-ju showed me the words fact and truth.

Fact is what happened, what appeared on the surface.
Truth is the heart as it is, unadorned.

If people knew the truth,
they wouldn't be able to misunderstand you.

I know the truth.
I know your true feelings.

Fact and truth.
Truth and fact.

Not complicated things like that,
which are distorted and askew
by a single letter's difference,

but one person.

The fact that one person
was by my side
was so pure
that I cried and cried.
- Partial excerpt from "Fact and Truth" (pages 58-59)

"I threw it. Suddenly it was light." A time when anxiety, sadness, and loneliness all become lighter

"You're still young, you wouldn't understand." "Just focus on your studies." Adolescents hear such remarks easily. However, adolescents endure far more than adults realize. Existing "firmly" (from "The Speaker") in this world as fully-fledged individuals, even if life isn't always joyful and happy, they are growing into adults who bravely carry dreams and can "warm" their lives "with their own warmth" (from "When I Grow Up"). Reading this poetry collection, which is like "a gentle letter" wishing well to adolescents living a difficult life today amidst anxiety that "approaches without a sound" (from "Dear My Anxiety"), one will experience the "weight of deep-seated sorrow," the "volume of wounds that don't easily heal" (afterword, An Mi-ok), and loneliness becoming lighter. I also believe that this poetry collection will offer warm comfort to adults who have lived through tumultuous periods of conflict and wandering.

Perhaps you'll come,
so I put an umbrella on the seat beside me
so it wouldn't get rained on.
(omitted)
Perhaps you'll come,
so I held in going to the bathroom and waited.

When are you coming?
The rain has stopped, the weather has cleared,
and it's been sunny all day,
so the seat beside me is really warm.
- Partial excerpt from "The Seat Beside Me" (pages 28-29)

Table of Contents

Part 1 This Is My Secret
Good Person
Mine
Another Person
Secret
Hobby
Bag
Floaters
Something Only I Know
Fatigue
The Seat Beside Me

Part 2 Because I Think I Understand That Feeling
Lullaby
First
Toilet
Just Want to Sleep
Recess
One Hit
Summer Vacation
The Most Difficult and Frightening Things in the World
Summer Story
Emergency Evacuation
When I Grow Up
Don't Know Anything
Reflection

Part 3 To Melt Away the Long Day
Apology
Seeking Friend
Fact and Truth
Closed Door
Sister's School Uniform
Downpour
Gym Class
A Day Like Eternity
A Walk for Two
Laundry
Dear My Anxiety
Underline

Part 4 Not Left Behind, Just Flowing Away
Walk
Full-Time and Part-Time
The Speaker
Closing Doors
Korean Notebook
Passerby
Recovery
Farewell
One Grain
Picnic
Graduation Ceremony
Family Photo

Afterword | An Mi-ok
Poet's Note