Miracle Brain Science Parenting for Ages 0-3: An Attachment-Building Guide for the First 1,000 Days by a Columbia University Neuroscientist Mom

Author Greer Kirshenbaum · Publisher 21st Century Books · Publication Date 2024-07-03 · ISBN 9791171174348

Book Introduction

★★★Amazon Bestseller in Parenting and Neuroscience★★★
“Parent with love, but parent with neuroscience!”
90% of the brain is developed between 0-36 months!
The ultimate attachment parenting bible for developing a child's resilience

Just until age 3, parent with neuroscience!
A roadmap for attachment and empathy-based parenting for ages 0-3, learned from the latest neuroscience

In today's world, overflowing with parenting information, which advice should new parents follow? Is there a book that provides clear and specific guidance for parenting based on accurate facts? The author of this book, a neuroscience researcher at Columbia University, wrote this book as both a neuroscientist and a mother to share precise parenting directions with new parents. This book contains practical parenting guidelines based on the latest neuroscience, designed to free parents from the "headache of trying various parenting methods found on the internet" amidst a sea of parenting information.

The author, who originally studied adult brains and mental health, discovered that much of the brain is determined within the first 1,000 days of life. The period from 0-3 years, when the brain grows to 90% of its adult size, is an astonishing time for a child's mental health, emotional intelligence, resilience, and language development. Most importantly, 'stress regulation ability' is crucial for brain development during this period. Resilient stress regulation, formed through a secure attachment with parents, becomes the most important foundation for brain region development.

Forming a secure attachment is not as complex as it seems. It involves actively responding to a child's various signals to help them feel secure. It means holding and loving them as much as a parent's heart desires. Of course, the author also knows that the reality of parenting is not as easy as it seems. Having faced countless unexpected situations while raising her own child, the author realized that "you can't perfectly control everything in the process of becoming a parent." However, knowing is different from not knowing. Amidst abundant parenting information, understanding parenting through neuroscience reveals the fundamental direction of child-rearing.

Neuroscience-based parenting secrets that break conventional parenting wisdom
How to foster a child's 'emotional brain' to build a resilient and healthy mind

Let's start the first step of parenting by understanding a child's brain development process. The brain of an infant aged 0-3 develops in the order of the survival brain, emotional brain, and thinking brain. A child's brain, from birth, is composed of a functional survival brain, an immature emotional brain, and a newly formed thinking brain. The 'emotional brain' is the most important during this period. If parents respond stably to stress signals in a child whose emotional brain is not yet mature enough to cope with stress, the child's emotional brain gradually develops resilience. Through repetitive experiences of appropriately regulating stress with parental help, a child's emotional brain gradually matures.

In this context, the conventional parenting wisdom that holding a crying child too much will spoil them is incorrect. A child cannot regulate stress on their own when their brain regions are not yet developed. If you understand parenting through neuroscience, you can find clear parenting directions that deviate from existing parenting practices. Sleep training that forces a child to sleep through the night, or training aimed at fostering independence, are all not good for a child's brain. When parents hold their child as much as they want and respond as much as the child needs, a stable stress regulation system is established in the child's brain. By understanding neuroscience and listening to one's own parenting instincts, parents can truly help their child's brain without being swayed by unverified parenting practices and common sense.

Tackling Real-Life Parenting Concerns!
Fact-checking 30 common parenting concerns of new parents!

Should one always feed a baby at a fixed time? Should night feedings be stopped after 36 months? When should one start practicing sleeping alone? New parents have endless concerns. This book clearly addresses 30 of the most common parenting concerns of parents, based on the latest neuroscience. The book begins by summarizing 30 misconceptions and answers, then provides clear solutions based on scientific facts where appropriate. The 'Learn More' sections, inserted as separate pages, systematically organize specific information that parents may encounter in real-life parenting situations.

Parenting is never easy, but when a clear direction is set through neuroscience, the path of parenting becomes clear. There are no perfect parents in the world. One might not have enough time to dedicate to their child, or one might make mistakes. But what is clear is that parenting is ultimately the product of a willingness to actively respond to one's child. A child never ignores a parent's stable love. When parents learn how to recharge their parenting energy when they are tired, and when they parent by understanding and empathizing with both their child's and their own brains, the child can grow properly within a healthy attachment. Parent with love, but parent with neuroscience. You have the miraculous power to change your child's brain.

A guide to attachment formation in the first 1,000 days to boost a child's 'emotional intelligence'!
From easily understandable neuroscience theories to practical parenting guidelines for each situation!

【PART 1 Theory】 Neuroscience of parenting for ages 0-3 that parents must know
The reason the first 1,000 days are most important in parenting is primarily due to the brain's 'neuroplasticity' during this period. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change its neural circuits through experience. From 0-3 years, a child's brain forms the neural circuits that will be fixed later through 'experience'. Since it is not easy for neural circuits to change once they are fixed, parenting during this period, when the brain has the strongest neuroplasticity, has a powerful impact on a child's brain.

Of course, the brain is fundamentally formed according to inherited genes and DNA, and some children are genetically more sensitive to stress. However, proper parenting can guide any child, regardless of their genetic makeup, towards greater resilience. Recent 'epigenetics' research over the past 20 years has revealed the impact of parenting on genes. While inherited genes cannot be changed, parenting can increase or decrease the influence of specific genes. If nothing else, a healthy mind can be passed on to a child.

Just as a child's brain changes rapidly, a parent's brain also actually changes. Specific brain regions optimized for parenting are activated, increasing the brain's ability to sensitively respond to and empathize with a child's signals. When parents approach parenting with a willingness to actively respond to their child, their brains change even more dramatically. Only by recognizing their own brain changes and actively engaging in parenting can both parents and children create healthy minds together.

【PART 2 Practical Application】 Practical attachment parenting for ages 0-3 that anyone can follow
What is more important than theory is practical application. Based on the neuroscience theories introduced earlier, this book guides practical parenting principles for developing a child's brain and forming healthy attachment, categorized by situation and timing. Understanding that 'empathy-based parenting' with active responses to the child is most effective for brain development makes practical parenting guidelines easy to understand.

When a child is quietly and calmly awake, it's the best time to build a connection with them. When a child smiles or moves, making a 'serve,' parents can 'return' with the same reaction, engaging in a dialogue and gradually forming attachment. Through interaction with parents and various textures and sensations, a child develops their brain within a secure attachment relationship.

When a child cries or throws a tantrum, it's a valuable opportunity to teach them stress regulation. The 'empathy-based parenting' described in this book certainly does not mean unconditionally accepting whatever the child does. When a child expresses stress, parents should identify the cause of the stress from the child's perspective, soothe them sufficiently, and teach them how to regulate stress. Once the child is calm enough, parents can then teach them appropriate behavior.

When a child is sleepy or asleep, parents can form a healthy attachment with them. Children aged 0-3, who have not yet developed regular sleep regulation abilities, show sleep signals through individual cues. Instead of obsessing over fixed times, pay attention to the child's signals. When parents respond to their child's sleep signals and put them to sleep, the child forms a healthy attachment through a sense of security and gradually develops resilient brain regions.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why neuroscience is needed in parenting, just until age 3

A healthy and resilient mind is fostered in infancy
Three years to develop a child's emotional intelligence, resilience, and language skills
The standard of neuroscience-based parenting, from theory to practice
Tackling 30 common parenting concerns of new parents with neuroscience

PART 1: Theory – Why neuroscience is needed in parenting for ages 0-3

CHAPTER 1 - 0-3 years, the golden time for our child's brain
The first three years when 90% of a child's brain develops
The importance of attachment formation from a neuroscience perspective
Understand and actively respond to your child's signals and emotions

CHAPTER 2 – Understanding the principles of brain development solves parenting challenges
3 stages of brain development by period
Causes of stress from 0-3 years

CHAPTER 3 – The power of parenting from 0-3 years that even changes innate temperament
At least mental health can be passed on to a child
If you're worried about inheriting maternal depression?

CHAPTER 4 – Utilize the 'parental mind' optimized for parenting
Parenting even changes the parent's brain
The process of brain change that both mothers and fathers will experience
4 'parenting superpowers' within the parent's heart
Don't be swayed by unverified parenting common sense
The miracle of brain change that even heals the parent
What you must know in the process of becoming a parent

PART 2: Practical Application – Practical attachment parenting methods for ages 0-3

CHAPTER 5 A roadmap for empathy-based attachment parenting learned through neuroscience
From 0-3 years, children need parents who will provide absolute love
Empathy-based parenting, helping a child cope with stress for the first time
Why empathy-based parenting is most important, even if it's difficult

CHAPTER 6 When the child is quiet and calm – The optimal parenting timing to build connection with the child
Baby Chat – Essential dialogue with the child for healthy attachment formation
From smell to touch, A to Z guide to engaging a child's senses
How parents should respond to a newborn for the first time
Building connection between child and parent – Practical application of empathy-based parenting

CHAPTER 7 When the child cries or throws a tantrum – Parenting timing to teach the child stress regulation
First, understand the child's stress response patterns and stages
Rules can also be taught to children through empathy-based parenting
How to properly correct a parenting mistake when you've lost your temper with your child
Always distinguish between the child's stress and the parent's emotions
Child won't stop crying – Practical application of empathy-based parenting

CHAPTER 8 When the child is sleepy or asleep – The best parenting timing to form a healthy attachment
Why sleep training is never good for a child's brain
Properly understanding normal infant sleep patterns
The standard of realistic sleep parenting for ages 0-3
The more you sleep with your child, the more stable their brain becomes
Forming a child's healthy sleep pattern – Practical application of empathy-based parenting

CHAPTER 9 Recharge the tired parent's brain with parenting energy
2 essential energy-recharging methods for sustainable parenting
Long-term strategy for restoring parenting energy – The 'I CARE' practice method
Short-term strategy for restoring parenting energy – The 'Cultivating SPACE' practice method

Conclusion – Parent with love, but parent with neuroscience