A Truly Decent Attitude: What I Learned About the Meaning of Life from Countless People I Met on the Road Over 15 Years

Author Park Ji-hyun · Publisher Maven · Published 2022-09-30 · ISBN 9791190538480

About the Book

“Learning About Life from Philosophers on the Road”
- Solid life attitudes that will help you live a life without regrets

The author started her career in 2007 as a VJ (video journalist) for KBS’s ‘Documentary 3 Days’ and currently works as a documentary director for tvN’s ‘You Quiz on the Block’. ‘Documentary 3 Days’ was a broadcast program that meticulously observed and recorded the situations and daily lives of people within a limited 72 hours in a specific space. It began in 2007 and, until its grand finale in March 2022, was praised for portraying a warm portrait of our times.
As an original member of the program, the author worked as a VJ for 12 years from 2007, taking charge of interviews and filming for popular episodes such as the Sinwol-dong Junkyard, the National Forensic Service, the Noryangjin Exam Village, Pope Francis’s visit to Korea, the Dharma Master Beopjeong’s cremation ceremony, and the Dokdo Guard Unit. Since 2019, she has moved to tvN’s ‘You Quiz on the Block’ as a documentary director. Her role involves conducting interviews and filming when additional footage of the cast is needed. She says:
“From ‘Documentary 3 Days’ to ‘You Quiz on the Block,’ almost by fate, I have met countless people on the road while working on documentaries. They shared the secrets and truths of life hidden in experiences I had yet to have, and thanks to them, I began to find answers to life that I thought I could never solve. Also, thanks to the solid life attitudes I learned from them, even when I was exhausted or swayed by envy of others’ lives, I was able to avoid collapsing and regain my balance to move forward. That’s why I call them philosophers I met on the road.
I want to continue meeting more people and learn wisdom and courage gained through their vivid life stories. If I don't forget the life attitudes I learn and keep practicing them, perhaps I can live a better life.”

“Never treat people as a means, no matter the circumstance.”
- Respect for oneself, respect for others

In reality, documentary work sometimes involves filming sailors clinging to railings on a ship during a typhoon, or holding a camera even when fingers are frozen at minus 20 degrees Celsius and won't move as intended. Skipping meals is common, and there are moments when one must record the aftermath of a disaster up close, which is difficult to witness. Nevertheless, the author says that becoming involved in documentary work is the greatest fortune she has encountered in life. This is because she has learned so much by meeting countless people in various places and experiencing their lives.
Most importantly, even though it would be natural for strangers to be startled by a camera being pointed at them, most people genuinely welcomed the author. They willingly showed their spaces and honestly told their stories. In the sweltering heat, they would cut cool watermelon for her, saying she must be having a hard time, and in the cold winter, they would offer a warm spot by the ondol floor. That wasn't all. When covering stories, she would inevitably face emotionally stirring moments, and she met people who genuinely comforted her whenever she couldn't hide her sadness.
The author says that thanks to such kind people who shared their hearts without expecting anything in return, the world felt a little warmer, and she wanted to break down the walls she had built up to avoid getting hurt by others and just trust people.
“In my twenties, the world and people felt so difficult. But as I worked on documentaries, putting myself in the shoes of people I hadn't understood and following their perspectives, I realized I had many misunderstandings. And as I came to understand people's inner thoughts, the instances of anger, resentment, or injustice significantly decreased. My attitude towards the world and how I treated people also began to change.
Even when someone was hostile towards me, instead of being scared and shrinking back as before, I started to wonder if they had some circumstances, and I began to reflect on myself first, wondering if I was caught up in some misunderstanding or prejudice. I also learned that while doing work well is important, it's crucial not to lose sight of people in the process.
It hurt when I realized that surprisingly many people live without knowing the sincere feelings of others, and I resolved that if I didn't want to have regrets, I should express what I wanted to convey to others at that moment.”

“If only I could age like this.”
- The reason I want to meet even more people in the future

For over 15 years, the author has traveled across Korea and abroad with her camera, meeting countless people, from the homeless to presidents. She was particularly deeply impressed by people who cherished and valued others in any situation, those who held onto their will to live without giving up no matter how difficult things were, and those who, regardless of their achievements, considered others and reflected on their day. She naturally wished to emulate them. Of course, whenever she got lost or wandered, she recalled their valuable words and regained her footing in life. That's why the author says she wants to meet even more people in the future and learn solid attitudes toward life.
“As I wrote this book, organizing the people who had given me strength at certain points in my life, or who had shown attitudes I wished to emulate, I realized once again that there are more kind, warm, and wonderful people in the world than I thought. Although I am still lacking, there is only one reason why I am putting this book out into the world: I hope that the stories of these people, who sometimes made me ashamed and sometimes charmed me, will reach you too.
If you ever feel lost, or hate yourself so much you can't bear it, or need comfort but have nowhere to turn and feel lonely, I hope that reading any of the lives introduced in this book will give you strength. Then, I would wish for nothing more.”

Table of Contents

prologue: Why I want to meet even more people in the future

chapter 1 Learning from countless people I met on the road over 15 years
Never treat people as a means, no matter the circumstance
A word from a man who spent 21 years unjustly in prison
Why couldn't I say those words to myself?
Everyone becomes a father that way
Unforgettable comfort received from a stranger
A moment when I felt truly ashamed
There are far more kind people in the world
The meaning of death learned from children

chapter 2 When a person comes, their whole life comes with them
The cruelest thing a person can do to another
When a person comes, their whole life comes with them
"Unnie, I think we're fated!"
About the name "Mom"
Words I think of when walking alone
It could be my misunderstanding
A grandfather's calm confession at a memorial park
Things to do before it's too late

chapter 3 Truly admirable attitudes towards life
If you can offer an umbrella to someone walking alone in the rain
Don't be too despondent, and don't be too arrogant
The reason a son told his father not to be sorry
If it's cool, it won't be easy; if it's easy, it won't be cool
What hospice patients taught me
The attitude of not pitying others carelessly
There is no trivial work in the world
One thing to uphold to live with dignity

chapter 4 Nevertheless, we need comfort
If you ask who am I to offer comfort
Gratitude alone is enough
About the joys and sorrows of work
It may seem trivial, but it helps
The words "We will pray for you always"
Why a grandmother gives coffee to a doctor right before she leaves
Nothing is to be taken for granted
Ultimately, the power that keeps us going

chapter 5 Am I truly living well?
The question he wants to ask his deceased mother
What I felt while documenting the life and death of a president
Even if only one person believes in me
Nevertheless, the reason they do their best
Even if they are called "eccentric" their whole lives
If the ladder going up collapses, find another ladder
To those enduring the winter of life
Wandering is proof of trying

chapter 6 Respect for myself, respect for others
An unexpected gift from broadcaster Yoo Jae-suk
Why do you only worry about the fetus and not the pregnant woman?
The children who made me realize the meaning of friendship
No one has the right to demand proof of misfortune
Not trying to live like a mother, but just living like myself
How not to be swayed by rude people
The meaning embedded in the final farewell "Don't come back"
The person you should cherish most in the world is yourself

chapter 7 If only I could age like this
The one thing I regret most in my life
I hope I can also say "thank you"
The secret to happiness learned from the grandmothers of Yongho-do
What I realized while watching Dharma Master Beopjeong's final moments
Love is being together yet keeping a distance
When you feel like you don't want tomorrow to come
Be yourself, no matter what anyone says
Let's talk about it then