Say No When You Mean No (Hardcover)

Author Dagmar Geisler · Publisher Wilma · Published 2026-06-30 · ISBN 9791199757653

About the Book

"No matter how much you love someone,
there's a line you shouldn't cross, a 'boundary'."

A cute niece you haven't seen in a while, or a lovely child you pass on the street. You might feel the urge to pat their head or pinch their cheek out of affection. But wait, did you ask for the child's consent? This book isn't just about teaching children how to say no in inappropriate situations. It's a story that reminds parents, the adults reading along, to respect a child's bodily boundaries.

Many parents often forget while raising their children that their child is a unique individual, distinct from them, and a person in their own right. This can lead to them forcibly demanding unwanted physical contact, or kissing and hugging a child against their will. However, these thoughtless actions by adults can instill a distorted perception of physical contact in children.

"Only I can decide
who touches me, and when!"

Globally, education on recognizing and setting boundaries for one's body and mind is becoming essential. In Germany, in particular, the government and educational institutions lead the way in implementing "My Body Belongs to Me" (Mein Körper gehört mir) as a mandatory part of early childhood education. "Say No When You Don't Like It," which has been chosen by German parents and teachers for 25 years, encapsulates the core principles of boundary education at a child's level.

In Korean society, which values relationships, the need for 'boundary education' is even more emphasized. Neglecting boundary education with the complacent thought of 'what's the big deal, they're family,' 'what's the big deal, they're a teacher,' or 'what's the big deal, they're a friend' ultimately deprives a child of the opportunity to learn how to protect themselves. Physical and psychological self-determination is the source of a child's self-esteem and confidence. Furthermore, a child who understands that 'I am the owner of my body and mind' can grow into an empathetic and kind child who also knows how to respect the boundaries of others.


Recommendations

There's something as important as having an open mind and a positive outlook on the world and people. It's the courage to say no when something isn't right, and to say no when you don't like it. "Say No When You Don't Like It" conveys this important message warmly, at a child's level. Through this book, children learn that their body and mind are precious, that they can clearly express themselves when uncomfortable, and that telling an adult when they need help is an act of courage. A child who opens their heart widely to the world, yet can set firm boundaries when it's time to protect themselves. This book will be a good starting point for fostering such healthy strength in our children.
- Park So-young (Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist)


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